Overcoming Your Insecurities

Psychotherapist Amy Morin tells us about her experiences in supporting her clients. She explains that being a therapist can be surreal as she is able to listen to people’s deepest secrets that they’ve never said out loud or have expressed to people that are close to them. In the article, she points out that “almost everyone fears they’re not good enough…”, and she primarily speaks about the largest similarity she sees between her clients’ insecurities. “The funny thing about this insecurity is that we rarely recognize it in anyone but ourselves. We tend to look around and think everyone else feels confident and has everything all figured out”, Morin advises.  She explains that everyone masks their insecurities in a unique way. As well, she explains that instead of speaking and sharing with others of not being good enough, people often try harder to make themselves look and feel better than they actually do.

Some of the common things people do to hide their fears of not being good enough explained in this article are:

  1. Try to prove to others that they are incapable of making mistakes or being wrong. This is called perfectionism. Perfectionists feel validated if they don’t make mistakes or if they receive affirmations from others.
  2. Working excessively hard and overachieving. People believe that if they show this work ethic, it will show everyone that they are good enough.
  3. Through self-sabotage. People who are insecure may experience tension or discomfort when things are going well. People may make mistakes purposely.
  4. Refusing to do something fun or exciting because they do not feel worthy of joy. This is called self-punishment.
  5. Avoiding challenging themselves as they feel they are destined to fail or be unsuccessful.
  6. Pleasing others rather than themselves. Individuals that feel poorly about themselves may often try to please others to receive a stamp of approval.

Amy Morin explains that the first step for anyone that wants to overcome the fear of not being good enough is to recognize and acknowledge the issue. Morin explains “But the problem is that once you believe you’re not good enough, you’ll keep looking for evidence that reinforces your belief. You’ll assume every mistake, rejection, and failure is proof that you don’t measure up”. She explains that you need to be open to proving your doubts wrong and look for reasons why you are good enough. She advises to write down this list and continue reading it when you doubt yourself. Morin explains people may need to heal old memories that make them feel “less than” in overcoming this fear.

Often these steps may be difficult to manage alone. For some people, achieving this goal can best be accomplished with the support of a mental health professional. Morin explains “If you’re struggling to feel worthy, reach out to a therapist. A few therapy sessions might be enough to help you build the self-worth you need to finally feel good enough”.

At The Therapy Centre, our psychologists, social workers and psychotherapists are skilled in treating a variety of issues, including issues related to self-esteem, fears and not feeling good enough. Our offices are located at 2525 Old Bronte Road in Oakville and 849 Upper Wentworth Street in Hamilton-just minutes from the QEW and easily accessible from Peel Region, Halton Region, Halton Hills, Stoney Creek and Niagara Region.

References: Morin, A. (2020, January 30). Almost everyone fears they’re not good enough, according to a psychotherapist. Here’s how to overcome that fear. Retrieved from: https://www.businessinsider.com/psychotherapist-i-learned-almost-everyone-shares-one-insecurity

You might be interested in:

Self-Criticism & What You Can Do About It